I’m an Adult Woman, and I call My Mom Three Times A Day . This article appeared on Vogue.com and was posted and reposted on Facebook creating in me a tidal wave of complex emotions. Overwhelming gratitude that I was able to experience this mother-daughter bond and deep grief that I haven’t experienced this bond, and it’s validating comfort, in over 20 years. I have been longing for that mother-daughter bond in such an intense way these past few months. Wishing ” my person” was still here caring about my life experience in a way that only my mom could. To have that validation, feedback, curiosity and the investment that comes from unconditional parental love, (all the while receiving this support without ever having to ask). I have prided myself in the ease and consistency in which I have mothered myself during the ebbs and flows of my life. Yet I find the accessibility of those coping strategies eluding me more times than not as I move through this current phase of life, preparing to launch my oldest son. Recognizing that this very phase of life was the last active phase my mom was present and able to support me. When I think of my first few years of college, our bond stronger than it had ever been, how I looked forward to our daily conversations… most just a few minutes… all letting me know I was loved, supported, considered. That my mom was there and truly cared about the minute nuances of my life, (how I slept, what I ate, what I was doing after class…), and that she was there to support, care, and believe in me through challenges big and small. I have been so busy mothering myself through life without her that I hadn’t really stopped to consider how much work this truly is. Until now. Until my son started the college application process. I found myself feeling more tired, emotional, wanting for outside support, validation, connection, feedback. This need surprised me. Why now? When knowing to my core, that I am proud, confident and thrilled for him to experience this next chapter. Then I read, I’m an Adult Woman, and I call My Mom Three Times A Day. This article crystallized for me what I was feeling, all that I have been missing. I was moving through life so fast that I never allowed myself the space to recognize, acknowledge and truly accept this loss awareness. What a relief to be able to pause, recognize this truth, honor my sadness, and move forward in strength and knowing that, “Our roots shall provide the strength we need to grow.”
