Today I grieve.

My heart is heavy, the loneliness intense, the isolation pervasive, the sorrow deep.

One day.

Five years.

Twenty years…

There is no timeline.

I loved you every day that you were here and I will grieve for you every day that you are gone.

Today I grieve by staying in bed. In the dark. Silence.

Yesterday I grieved looking at pictures, watching old movies, crying with every passing moment.

The day prior I grieved walking in the park, cleaning, cooking, working.

Each day shows me how I must grieve.

Each day informs me what I must do to get through.

I do the best I can to hold the duality of life without you.

To live and to grieve.

To allow for joy, while holding sorrow.

To connect, while feeling alone.

To find purpose, while feeling lost.

To love, while longing.

To be present, while wishing I could go back in time.

Today and every day I do my best to grieve with courage and resilience….even if some days it appears not to be true.

My grief is personal.

Today I grieve.